Life goes on.

Finally

2008-06-05T19:50:00.001+08:00

Met Rizzo yesterday. Talked, dragged, crapped. 347. Ano's block.
Finally sia.

Adoiii. Part 2.

2008-05-31T23:41:00.006+08:00

"Baliklah. Kau balik pukul 8 baliklah. Kau nak balik pukul 1 pagi pun, apa aku kisah?".
"Nilah nasib anak mak".

These words just keep ringing in my mind.
Why do you just have to point fingers at me?
Blame me for everything?
Last minute cancel? Was that even to my intention? Tell me, which outings you guys plan that I ever wanted to miss? You guys are a crazy duo that I can go to the extent of forgetting my own family and home.
My brother replied to me, "You only pentingkan your friends now what. So we went to Lau Pa Sat without you", after I asked why he never called me up when he wanted to go there last week.
You told me you wouldn't have met me if it was really otherwise...but I thought you were already planning to go Mac with Fiza way before I asked to meet you?

"Thanks ________ for making my day better" was what I texted to you. I expected you to read between the lines.

Once and again, I repeat, no one knows me, not even myself.

I was forced to go the kenduri YET I get the blame. Oh yay.
Like I didn't want to go town. Oh yay.

Still, I have yet to apologise for cancelling. Sorry Ano. Sorry Choc.

Adoiii.

2008-05-31T14:21:00.003+08:00

Your recent post made me tear.
I still insist it is my fault.
I broke your heart more than a few times. I knew, I kept quiet.
It's just the ego (I know, I said I can't blame the ego, but it's the fact).
The part where you said " I took your word to stay just as friends. Note: your word. And therefore, I followed. "
I actually said that subconsciously. I was too drowned in confusion.
Anyhooos. If you ever HAPPEN to give me another chance (which is a miracle), I'd happily take it. But considering it's a crucial year, I'll have to contemplate my decision.

A genius? Hmmmm.

2008-05-25T13:03:00.001+08:00

Wow? I'm a regional genius who scores 22 for his L1R5. Oh well. Probably I'm just too lazy.

Here is the flowchart:

Far Below AverageBelow AverageAround AverageVery SmartExtremely BrilliantBright Masterminda Regional Geniusa Universal Genius

In other words, I'm a few points away to Universal Genius. Gosh...and I only scored 12 for the Mensa test.

A day full of bliss.

2008-05-24T22:20:00.016+08:00

Striking resemblance, don't you think so?

The outing with Rizzo was cancelled as he had jamming. KNN. Haaahs. Luckily got plan B. Went out with Ano around 5pm. Slacked at her void deck for a while and headed to Century Square. Both of us wanted to get a ring each so we went to Montip. Mine cost $2.90 while hers cost $1.90. WALAO.

After making our purchase, I initially wanted to bring Ano to Split. I wanted to show her the $80 top that I really, REALLY wanted. But before that, something told me to go Bossini. Guess what? I found a WAAAAAAY better deal. It was $43 and I'm getting it on Monday. Lin paying for me yeow! (of course I'm returning her the money gundu. I don't swindle a woman's money). I tried it on and I felt like a model for a day.

Ice, ice baby...

I look hot aye? Haahs. Hot kebabai.

Admire my flair for camwhoring.

Pardon me for the clarity of the photos but I forgot to switch off night mode. After countless camwhoring and deleting, we went to Split. Hehs.

No wonder it cost $80. Bitch.

Another pose. Haute couture. (:

After everything, went to loiter at Ano's block again around 8.30pm. Decided to go to the tenth floor of the block to be engulfed by the scenery. Both of us started pouring out about the past, after I broke up with her, how Ayu and Kak Lin found me handsome when Ano stated I was her ex during her birthday pit last year. I was really flattered. I never found myself to be handsome. I took myself as an average joe since no one ever told me anything.

But I didn't mind because Lin said I had a good heart. Unnoticed by people who do not know the REAL me. I may bitch, yeah but when I'm really nice, I am really nice. No self praise here. Go get a first hand account from my own close friend. However, I just don't get it. I try my best not to hurt people's feelings. But once I make a major slip and hurt a person's feelings, people just view me differently. Lin also said that she was actually surprised that I can admit to people that she is my ex. Not many guys do that and she respects me for that. Thanks Lin. I do things that are already in your book, yo.

Alright. That's all folks!

The Spooky story about the spooker and the spooked.

2008-05-24T12:56:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, school ended at 9.15am. Hence, Razeef and me decided to go window shopping (we were buckeroo-less, mind you). Headed to Marina Square to check out Topman's Seasonal Sale.

When we alighted at Citylink, I had the desperate urge to set up a chocolate cake business, and I could tell it will be a booming one. Alright, alright. Jokes aside, I found a toilet next to the Ripcurl shop. Without much thinking, I rushed into the toilet....BUT before that, I decided to camwhore. Heheh....here are some of the pictas...

Sometimes, when you are in a situation like mine, you just have to LOOOOOSE yourself.

MOMMA! I'm sorry...but the cubicles were too full...

Alright...back to my story. So after camwhoring, I checked all the cubicles to see which ones had a water tap. None had, then there was this second cubicle which was closed initially. Without much thought put into my actions, I slammed it open. There was no one inside. Still, no tap as well.

Disappointed, I went to the sink to wash my hands when I heard a cubicle door slammed shut. I knew it couldn't be Razeef trying to scare me cause he had his crotch pressed to the urinal (if you get what I mean). I just dismissed the matter and went up to Razeef (NO! He was already done with urinating, damn you). So we just talked how excited we were about going to Topman until suddenly, right before our eyes, the door of the second cubicle slammed shut. It rebounded and opened to show no one inside. Not a single soul. We rushed out as quickly as we could.

Haha..Outside, we made up reasons on why the door slammed shut:

1)SOMETHING was angry at me for slamming the door open while IT was shitting.
2)It happened due to wind, which was impossible cause the door slammed as though someone was really angry.

Oh well. You guys go figure, aite?

2008-05-22T23:18:00.002+08:00

Oh yah...I forgot to mention my stupid sucky results.
This may not be confirmed.
So far this is what I know of...

English - B3
Maths - B3
Additional Maths - C5
Pure Physics - C6
Pure Chemistry - C6
Malay - B3
Combined Humanities (SS/History) - B3

L1R5 - 22
L1R4 - 17

Hmmm.....Aeronautical Engineering? -sigh- I don't know already whether my dream will be fulfilled.

The Great Depression

2008-05-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

S, since we find it hard to meet up and talk, I'll just say it here.

I really apologise for whatever happened in the past. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realise my mistake. I can't blame anyone or anything for what I did, not even my ego. I'm sorry for being a jerk by flirting with some other girl. I'm sorry I did not fulfill your needs, desires and wants during our relationship. I really am sorry. I know you hated me till now for what I have done. I find it hard to let go of you after 6 months. But I have to. I have to move on. I tear whenever I dream of you. You were the only girl I made any physical contact with. You were the only girl I really tried to put love in. However, I was a fool to get together with you when I confused my feelings with my previous ex.

S, you were the best girl I had so far.
S, till now, I still think of you and love you.
As much as I want a second chance from you...I decided it's best for me not to...I'm just afraid I might break the chance and end up having to let you go, again. It's already hard for me to let you go after 6 months of our break up. Imagine if I screw the second chance again...

So thanks for the relationship.
I appreciate the love you showered me with, despite me not realising it till a few weeks ago.
I really never knew you cared so much.
Thanks again, S.

2008-05-13T16:37:00.003+08:00

Girls expect guys to understand and be sensitive to their feelings.
But have girls ever spared a thought for a guy's feelings or emotions?

You say that I fret at the littlest things, but have you ever wondered how big your 'little' meant?
Have the two of you ever realised that you keep disturbing me extensively?
Have the two of you ever noticed that I'm actually reflecting, not fretting?

Then why is it, when I reflect, you say I fret?
Why is it you tell me I should be gentle whenever I'm rough, or vice versa?
You know I'm angry at the both of you, yet you still had the cheek to turn up the gas.
You still had to irritate me further.
You didn't have to go on to saying I have PMS 24/7. Ever thought of the cause of my PMS?
And by the way, it shows how limited you are. You go around saying a person has PMS whenever they are angry. Or sad. It's called fucking emotions, if you were never informed.
Your life is full of happiness I suppose. Never went through a state of melancholy before I guess.

Sure, I may have Bipolar Affective Disorder. Or in lament terms, mood swings.

I respect you guys that you can see through me when OTHER people irritate me. But I'm disappointed that you cannot sense my unhappiness when you guys irritate me.

Nobody is born the same. Don't expect me to be like you. And don't associate me with your ex.

And I left not because Razeef was waiting for me. I left because I could not stand it anymore.

And what D said about me,,,thanks for reliving my past eh?
I thought I'm over that phase with my siblings and primary school mates. Now I had to face it with you guys. Thanks.

I'm still wondering when you want to forgive Min. What's done is done. Let bygones be bygones. That was the past. Give him a chance to prove his worth.

Running through my head.

2008-05-10T14:07:00.003+08:00

A thought suddenly struck my head to visit her blog archives today. I read the posts starting from the start of the relationship; till the end of it. I never realised that she really did care about the relationship. I thought she never cared about how many months it has been. But I read her 4th June 2007 post. She actually acknowledged the second month without me knowing it. I thought she didn't care cause she never mentioned it to me first hand. But then again, when I reflect again, I think it was me who didn't put much effort to stabilise and create a 'sparky' relationship. I still remembered a time when last year she wanted to go home. I decided to head the other direction with Bal to go MacDonald's. I asked her first whether it was okay. And she said she was. So I headed with Bal. I still remembered clearly what she said..."Sometimes, when a girl says she's okay with something, actually she is quite reluctant to say so initially". But still, after hearing that I was quite complacent in the r/l. Gosh...I was such an inexperienced loser.

Going through all these made me realise my true self. I can be very egoistic and self-centered, yet I think I'm still nice in some ways. Maybe due to the fact that I have bipolar affective disorder. I know myself but I think friends can define me better.

Letting go.

2008-05-09T15:44:00.002+08:00

Letting go is letting go. If you have a cup in your hands, what happens when you let go? If you own a dog, what happens if you let it go?

Whatever answer you gave is true with emotions, beliefs, expectations and other things. Another way of looking at is by seeing all the things you are attached to; popularity, wealth, desire to have fun, happiness, family and friends, relationships, etc etc. Letting go of them means letting go of the attachment to them; letting go of the expectations of what they'll do for you; letting go of your desires that they'll do something for you; letting go of everything.

The only other thing I can suggest is that you look internally at yourself every time you come across something you can't just walk away from; look for the attachments and then pluck them out and let them go. Could you watch a family member die and just sit there without any emotion or internal conflict? If so, you are unattached (or unhinged >_>). Could you take you favourite thing in the world and smash it without care and internal debate? If so, you are unattached. Could you easily walk out on your friends while they're in the middle of telling you something important? If so, then you are unattached.

The goal of letting go is to see the world around you without being part of it; NOT to stop caring. In fact, by letting go of your attachments you can look internally towards your own motivations for everything that you feel towards other people and instead of performing intuitive reactions, you choose how you wish to respond:

-Is your "caring" for your parents simply a trained behaviour?
-Is your interest for your friend's problem simply something you do because the "society expects it"?
-Do you condemn other people's actions because the "situation calls for it"?
-Are your feelings and actions towards other people just intuitive actions (regardless whether they are "appropriate" or "correct")?
-Are they actions which you think you "should" do or are "supposed" to do, or are they genuine internal desires/intentions to act that way because you choose to want to? Remember this and you should be fine.

* * *

I read the passage above. But I guess I'm just to attached to S. Till now, I'm not able to let go of her. Just 7 days ago I dreamt of her. The dream was flashbacks of events that we went through together- Teacher's Day Performance, HI-CAL Camp, Hari Raya...I was jolted awake when the flashbacks were over and I began to tear. The strange, coincident thing was that 2nd May was the 7th month ever since we broke up.

When we broke up for a reason, I realised that I will never have the same feelings for other girls as I had for S. She was the first girl I ever held hands with out of the 3 other girls I've been with. Sometimes I hate myself for being such a jerk.

I wrote her an apology letter on 5th March. I ended up tearing it weeks later cause I knew her mind is in a mess and I bet she doesn't need me to mess it any further. She has her mother to worry about that point of time. I just do not want her to be in a state of confusion.

Ouh wells. Right now I have Physics Paper 1 and results to worry about. Happy mugging people.

Unity in oblivion.

2008-04-23T17:01:00.006+08:00

Previously unposted picture.

I guess, the only people who understands me are Ano and Dian. They can see through me. They know it when I'm feeling out of place. They understand when I'm acting different.

They are the only ones who know what I'm going through and facing right now.

I thank Marcus and his "comrades" for what you guys did yesterday. Thanks for making everything seem worse for me. Thanks for adding fuel to the fire. Thank you.

If anyone is going to approach me for the sole purpose of irritating me, then just buzz off and leave me in peace. I do not need your presence.

I have enough things to deal with at home, so stop adding more problems for me till the day I just crumble apart. Right now, any little thing will just lower my esteem greatly. Any little words can make me feeling super down. So being the nice little people you are, I hope you do not take advantage of my vulnerability.

* * *

As hard as I try not mix home politics with school politics, insensitive jerks just seem to make it possible.

Anywho, thanks Tiara, Lin, Razeef, Hanna and Dian for hearing me out.

I miss my baby badly. ):

...

"Baby" is my Euphonium lah siol. Kentalan jubos.

Cliche: All good things have to come to an end.

2008-04-19T17:32:00.008+08:00

Here are some of the pics from yesterday's Speech Day 2008 and Band's POP.

The beloved ES Military Band.

A rail (Rhel), a lamp post (Tiang) and a rose (Farie Rose).

Rhel and one of his BELOVE junior, Michelle.

The cake presented to us by 5th batch seniors (alumni).

The last fall out.

Alright. I guess I ought to make the speech here since I did not have the time yesterday (and I wasn't really prepared as I'm not as talented as Tiara who can make an impromptu speech) LOL.

To my dearest juniors,
I would like to thank of all of you for staying on with the band. The 2-3 years I have been with you guys shows the never-ending spirit in ALL OF YOU. Continue to persevere to excel, be it in your playing or in your studies. Now that the seniors have finally stepped down, we are stepping aside for you guys, giving you guys a chance to SHINE. Prove to everyone out there that you guys can be the great people like you guys are. Show them your true capabilities. Make their jaw drop. Don't be sad that we've stepped down, but be glad that you have went through alot with us. I will come to visit all of you whenever I'm free, this I promise you. However, right now, I have to make preparations for the upcoming examinations. GOOD LUCK FOR YOU NBC and SYF 2009! (:

To my Euphonium juniors,
Enrica, continue playing well, work hard and make Mr Ng and the band proud. You have the most experience in band, so do assist Nabilah in her Section Leader duties aite?
Nabilah, now that you are the section leader, make sure you take good care of your juniors and NEVER give up. Set a good example to them. Don't be absent from band or you'll fall prey to Mr Ng's hatred.

To my ex-trumpeters (currently the French and Horny kids)
Farah, the best French Horn player I have met in my 4 years with band. Now that you have attained the role of a Band Major, you have alot of responsibility in your hands. But don't take it alone. Disseminate your job to your other committee members so you won't get too stressed.
Firdaus, cheyyyyy...DM siolll. Hahas. Be proud of it already! Haaah. Continue being good in your French Horn as well as the drums so that if there is a lack in percussionists, you can take over. LOL!

That's all I have to say. Good luck everyone in your future participations! I will continue supporting you guys! Do inform me of future performances aite?

Azryl Ali.
ex-Section Leader (Euphonium).

And the world is black.

2008-04-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

Gosh I wonder is it me or people are just oblivious to the surroundings. If you noticed, there has been a number of accidents, killings and most of all, deaths lately. This is what I noticed.

Just yesterday, my father stepped off a bus and accidentally fell into a drain, receiving an unexpected fracture. He was sent to the hospital and got his leg bandaged and casted. Just a few months ago, my aunt fell off the stairs and got hospitalised. Gaaaah. Now I'm starting to worry about my fate.

Sane lunatic.

2008-04-05T20:20:00.004+08:00

I have this sudden urge to punch something hard. Something really hard. Something to be my source of ventilation lest I will reach to a point where I will start to hyperventilate. But on a second thought, that would be rather stupid as MYEs is approaching in three weeks.

I'm just pissed by the fact that the people around me are starting to get really irritating. I said 'people around me'. It could be friends, it could be family or it could just be some random person out on the streets doing something I detest. So if you feel the pinch, then too bad for you.

Seriously, so much for wanting to create a comfort zone so I can pour out my emotions to you when I'm in a fix. Instead, you are being one hell of a pest right now. Initially, you told me, whenever I go out, I must be back before 9. Now that I'm starting to reach home early, instead of keeping quiet, you pick on me further, asking where I have been to and why I went as to that far to do something. When I answer, you went 'all smart' on me by saying I haven't answered your question. You may restrict me to a certain extent. But to go all out on me is way too much. I've already tried to change by fulfilling your ORDER of coming home early. Now you go digging into my already-limited-freedom. GAAAAAAAH. Now I'm starting to sound like sane lunatic. Oxymoronic, I know. But I'm feel like I'm out of my mind yet I can write all this in pure sanity, pure consciousness. Oh and if you happen to feel the pinch, don't take it hard. I might have said all this out of impulse.

STUDYYYYYYYY!

2008-04-05T20:02:00.003+08:00

Wheeewooooo! Had a great time today (despite the fact I had to pour out my brain juice for that damned Alkanes topic). Tiara and I went to Changi Airport Terminal 3 to study Chemistry together (FUCK. I just remembered that I forgot to do the Malay Oral video which I was supposed to do at the Airport and transfer into Tiara's laptop). So...we went to Popeye's to study. She did he POA while I studied "An Introduction to Organic Chemistry". Surprisingly, I was not at all distracted with the fire drill noise. I also did not have the urge to talk much. All I did was concentrate on the textbook. Kwakwakwa. This is so NOT me.

Anyhoooos. We met Ms Sakinah at the foodcourt next to Popeye's. Saw her looking through a paper. Both of us suspect that it might be the examination papers. I mean, come on, after I approached her to say 'hello', the second time I passed by her to go NTUC FairPrice, she had disappeared. Oh, and not only did we see one teacher, but TWO! This time, it was my lower sec Geography teacher, Mrs Low! Gaaah. How I miss her. And to add to that fact, she took 1 year of unpaid leave. How sad.

Went to Candy Empire soon after (OMG! Finally somewhere near to satisfy this sweet tooth of mine. No more going to VivoCity). I bought this triple Push Pop. Yes, literally. Three pops in one tube. Whoo.

After all that, Tiara had to go off as she needed to go to her Grandma's place at Aljunied. Hence, I took the train with her, dropped at Tanah Merah and went our separate ways.

That's all folks! Ciao!

Gaaaah. Bugger.

2008-04-03T16:17:00.002+08:00

This week has been kind of hectic. Got back my Physics test results. Got a pathetic 58%.
Also, we had Malay oral. It was really great. I got mainly positive comments. Haaaish. I have not much to say 'cept that things seems to be going back to normal but I'm not letting my guard down.

crushcrushcrush. heh.

2008-03-24T15:53:00.002+08:00

Been thinking of that certain someone from ze West lately...GAAH. Must not bother that someone much. That someone is already in a relationship. Don't want to be some extra third party. Tsktsk. Accept the fact Rhel. Haaaaaahs.

what the hell were they thinking?

2008-03-23T01:37:00.002+08:00

I just watched this video entitled "BME Pain Olympics". At first I took it as some harmless video which is a kind of truth of dare thing but my perception was changed after watching it. The guys are SICK I tell you, SICK. They inflict pain on themselves by performing an act of self-castration. 1guy is provided a knife, the other, an axe. 1 chops his pee pee off, the other slits open his sac and squeezes his jewels out of it. Honestly, I almost puked watching this video. I advise those who are weak hearted not to attempt to watch it. It's twisted. It's sick. It's grotesque. I beg grils not to watch this.

GOD FORGIVE ME.

Quiz time!!!

2008-03-22T22:06:00.003+08:00

1.How tall are you? 165cm. I seem to get shorter every year...last year was 169cm, I swear.

2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship? Hmm. Once? WAIT WAIT. Twice, I think. God. I lost count. =.=

3. Do you own a gun? Do you know where I can get one? I'd like one for my birthday.

4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be? Delusional disorder.

5. How many letters are in your crush's name? Hmmm. 5? 4? 11? Go figure which is the short name, full name and the pseudonym.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Longer sausages and smaller buns. That's the way I like it.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? I feeel it in my fingerrrs, I feel it in my diiick. I mean... toes.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? ORANGE JUICE. Oh the sophisticated way of living.

9. Do you do push-ups? Every other day. I want to build those chest muscles you know.

10. Have you ever done ecstasy? I felt ecstatic before but what's ecs..esc.. Gaaah. Forget it.

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?...meow.

12. Do you like the rain? Yes. A great time to study, with the cool breeze kissing my cheeks..and the best time to sleep, under the toasty warm comforter.

13.Do you own a knife? Yep, butter, kitchen, pen, Swiss Army, you name it.

14. What do you smell like? Sweet.

15. Do you have A.D.D.(Attention Deficit Disorder)? I do daydream...does that count?

16. Full initials? M.AB.A

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:

GCE Ordinary Level Examinations
To Polytechnic or JC?
The person I'm having a crush on.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought today:

Cotton candy
Black Pepper Tuna in a can
Four Seas Caramel Corn Chocolate Flavour

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink, in order most to least.

Milo
Tea
Nescafe
'Vanilla Coke
Water

20. What time did you wake up today? 10.00 am

21. Can you spell? I wonder how I could type this post without knowing how to spell.

22. Current worry? Whether I'm gonna make it through the O's.

23. Favorite place to be? The beach, it brings tranquility and serenity right smack in front of me.

24. Least favorite place to be? In the midst of a packed crowd.

25. Where would you like to go? Somewhere wintery and snowy with Caucasians around?

26. Do you own slippers? Havianas

27. What do you think you'll be? Mathematics teacher if not an engineer or architect. Doctor kinda impossible for me as Science ain't my forte.

28. Do you burn or tan? Tan. Just look at my two toned arms.

30.Yellow or blue? Blue. Yellow's the colour of a pervert.

31. Would you be a pirate? YAAARRRR!

32.Last time your cell rang? 3.18 p.m...from Ano.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Guardian Angel by RJA...A Little Piece of Heaven by A7X and some Malay songs.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? A female rocker with long hair who is gonna grab at my balls in revenge of the man who previously raped her and got her dead and pregnant.

35. What's in your pockets right now? Lint.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? The difference between yo mama and the rooster is that the rooster says 'Cock-a-doodle-doo' but your mother says "Any-cock'll-do". LMAOROFL.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? My was green with these diamond shapes. And it still is. It's washed frequently, mind you.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? Crossing a road and got hit by a car when I was in Primary 4. Got an operations. Till now I have two 10cm nails stuck in my pelvic.

39. What is your GPA(Grade Point Average)? 3.57, to 3 significant figures.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3.

41. Who is your loudest friend? All of them.

42. Who is your most silent friend? Creltinkmo. He never speaks. The only person who can see him is myself.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I just finished eating a purple cotton candy and now I'm eating a second bag of blue one. Lol. What was your question again?

44. Do you wish on stars? I pray to Allah.

45. What is(/are) your favorite book(/s)? The Kite Runner? Wait. A Thousand Splendid Suns. And The Kite Runner. I'm so gonna change this question to contain a plural....there you go.

46. What song did you last hear? Shadow of the Dark by Linkin Park

49. What were you doing 12AM last night? Drilling on my A Maths.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Finally, more than 8 hours of rest.

51. Does anyone know your password to your email?Yes. I won't disclose who. Bet you're gonna ask that person for it. Pathetic, inexperienced, giveaway hacker.

52. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds? McSpicy. FAT POLICE!

53. Are you an emotional person? Yep. I get mood swings. No. I don't have PMS, idiot. I call it MCD. Male's Chaotic Disease. NOT MAD COW'S DISEASE, again idiot.

54. Do you like your school? No. Too much politics.

55. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in love. But not at first sight. That's called being horny.

56. Ever felt jealous of your friend? Sometimes. I'm generally cool with most people.

57. What was the last thing you did? Trying to complete this quiz. Still doing it.

58. Who is right next to you? Inflatable Tinky Winky.

59. Who was the last person you ate with? My brother-in-law.

60. What song are you listening to right now? Quit Playing Games With My Heart. By BSB. You can stop laughing now.

61. How's the weather right now? I see a full moon outside, and the sky's dark.

62. Last person who called you today? Lin.

64. Last song you sang? A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold.

65. Last time you danced? A few weeks ago.

66. Lost a friendship over something stupid? I very nearly lost one of my best friends in primary school cause of her cousin.

67. Last thing you ate? Cotton candy. Still am.

68. Been really depressed before? Duh-uh.

69. Faked being sick to miss school? Not allowed to.

70. What time did you wake up today? LOL, REPEATED QUESTION.

71. Current taste? Tuna. That explains why I bought the Black Pepper Tuna.

72. Who is the person that posted this survey? I got it from Tiky.

73. What are you wearing right now? Some blue and pink KKH t-shirt and camo shorts.

74. Are you too shy to ask anyone out? Never.

75. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? ...ze ass

76.Where are you right now? Home.

77. What date and day is it? 22 March, Saturday.

78. Did you go anywhere today? Lin's house, to get my speakers.

79. What did you do there? Sometimes, you just ask the questions with the most obvious of answers.

80. How old are you? I turned 16 in February.

81. Are you mature or immature? I tend to display both traits.

82. Do you call your parents by their first name?Yeah, jokingly.

83. Are you an only child? Fourth in four siblings.

84. Where do you go shopping? Freshbox. Puma. Fox Men. Peninsula. Bugis Street. TOPMAN!

85. Do you like where you work? I wish I could start working.

86. Do you like books? Hell yeah.

87. Do you want to get married? The thought of holy matrimony scares the sh*t outta me. Imagine the stuff I have to say with the people watching me. GOD.

88. To whom? Dunno.

HIGH LUST, LOW SLOTH

2008-03-22T22:03:00.001+08:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

At least my laziness is low...
WAIT WAIT. HIGH LUST, LOW SLOTH?
Sounds like a hardworking manwhore. I gigolo.

Book Review - A Thousand Splendid Suns

2008-03-22T20:30:00.002+08:00

Ho-kaaay. I am going to do a book review on "A Thousand Splendid Suns". This book is Khaled Hosseini's second book after the #1 Bestselling "The Kite Runner". In this second book of his, he uses the same style of writing which he used in his previous book. He mixes emotions of love, hate, revenge, greed, compassion and humour in his writing.

The story is set once again, in Afghanistan. From the time Soviets rule the country until the time Talibans took over and the post-Taliban period. This time, the two main characters are two girls whose lives will be be intertwined in the later part of the story. It starts off with Mariam, who is a harami, an illegitimate whose father married her to a shoemaker at the age of fifteen. As the story continues, a new character, Laila is introduced. Laila is a girl who is deeply in love with Tariq, her childhood friend. One day, her parents were killed by a rocket and Rasheed, together with his wife, Mariam, took her in. Tariq, on the other hand, had moved to Peshawar. Tales of lies were told to Laila by Rasheed regarding Tariq for he intends to marry Laila and does not want Laila to run away. However injustice does pay and this story will end by pulling at your heart strings. Prepare a box of tissue papers, people.

As compared to the previous book, this book is separated into four parts with each chapter alternating between the life of Mariam and Laila.

I do not give a shit.

2008-03-17T17:25:00.003+08:00

Gosh. I'm still partially deaf after three days. Even Lin, who was sitting beside me (to my left) had a hard time talking to me. She said "Bedok" and I heard "bulldog". Kwakwakwa. Hence, if you want to joke/talk/comment/compliment/thank/chat/insult me, you are just wasting your power and time. Or to make it shorter, energy. Why? Because Energy = Power x Time.

Anyhoos, this Friday Lin asked me out to go Karaoke-ing with Zaffry and Dian at Bedok. Don't think I can come. Saturday maaaaybe can. But not Friday. Also, I'm damn broke. Gaah.

omg. it's true.

2008-03-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

What Mohammad Azryl Bin Ali Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.

You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.

But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-03-13T14:32:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's outing to Seoul Garden was a great success! But before everything, me and my sister had been roaming at Tampines Mall to find my birthday present. Bought 2 pieces of Fox Men t-shirts, 1 piece of Freshbox printed tee and a pair of white bermudas from the same shop.

Around 4.30pm, headed down to Small Mac Tampines Interchange and waited for the rest. Ended up eating at around 6pm. While eating, we camwhored here and there. We played with our food...Jojo poured ice-cream on the pan. Hahas. And we all ended at 9. I don't want to say much cause there's a plethora of things to talk about. Pictures will come in later once I receive them.

when anger overcomes your heart.

2008-03-12T08:26:00.002+08:00

The emotional rush in my head still haven't die down. What I said yesterday was probably out of impulse, not aware of the situation. So I really apologise to Amin. It's fully my fault. No one can tell you where to sit. It's your own choice anyway.

these little psychics.

2008-03-11T20:21:00.005+08:00

And all this time, Lin was always there for me. So was Dian. They'd know it when I'm down and when I'm up, Sorry Lin for yesterday's attitude of mine. I just had a mood swing. And Lin, please don't make me uncomfortable anymore by treating me like I'm more than a friend. I know you understand. Please, we are just friends, nothing more. Please accept the fact. I stayed strong and tried to ignore those times when you treated me like I'm more than your friend but I do have my limits too. So, I'm sorry Lin. Take care aites?

when presentations are a bore, dancing is a great skill and hearts are broken.

2008-03-11T19:47:00.005+08:00

Had a workshop today at Springfield in preparation for the GCE 'O' Levels Malay Language Paper on 25th May. God. The teacher's presentation was a bore. I fell a sleep a few times. Wow. And teachers can still teach us on how to make a presentation catch the audience's attention. The booklet given out was useful though. But I guess the explanations were unnecessary for they read the powerpoint slides verbatim. I am not illiterate you know. =.=

After that, went to Tampines Mall to get the "Step Up 2" tickets Farie booked for the both of us. In the end, we bought another three tickets for Shikin, Liyana and Khairul.
After that, Liyana, Farie and myself went to Toys 'R' Us. Guess what? We found out dolls too suffer from receding hairlines.

...

Computer decided to be a bitch and decided to disallow me connecting to my phone. Sheesh. Anyway. After that, when we got into the cinema, I found out Amin was angry at me because I did not ask him along. Fine, I may have distanced from you lately. But seriously, to make a big fuss because I did not ask you along to a movie is way disappointing for me. It's as though I've NEVER spend quality time with you. There was no intention to leave you out. By now, you should know me. So yeah. It's my fault anyway for being so forgetful. Sorry, Amin.

-------

Shitty when family, school and friends just crumble on you eh? That's what I'm going through. I won't disclose the first and second one. First it's too personal and too long a story. Second? I'm just too lazy to type the crap out. Being too nice won't work for me anymore. People will expect you to do things for them in the future. When you lend them money, you'll end up with bad debt- wait for you to die and the money need not be returned. Urgh. The mercilessness of this all.

Didn't enjoy Step Up 2 at last because I felt super guilty. Though the moves were great and I wish I had those dancing skills.

rainy days is my definition of a sunny day.

2008-03-10T16:27:00.002+08:00

Whoo! It rained today! Finally, back to cool weather. After having a few days of scorching weather, I really thanked God when it finally rained. Seriously, you can just take a look at how dark I became. Hoho. Anyhoos, today did the History project with Uncle Heng and Eins. They came over to my house. I'm in charge of designing the blog-journal.

Edward was viewing my blog and he spotted that I wrote "Welcome to my humble blog" and commented on it because it defeats the purpose of calling it humble if you bold it. True, true. Then after we managed to finish something and before they left, we watched a few videos on YouTube.

In this video, Dick Lee makes a remake on some songs and pokes fun on topics such as National Language and National Songs.

In the following video, Hossan Leong did a stand up comedy on how Star Wars has become Singlish.

I think History students taught my Miss Ong could relate to this as she showed a video on Cold War which uses the same tune like in the song Hossan sings in this video.

Here is the History one by the way:

I think that's enough videos to keep you entertain for now. Till then, toodles!

Zendagi Migzara

2008-03-09T11:48:00.001+08:00

Sitting on a bench in a park, I watched as children chased after each other in the open space. What they did was reminiscent of my childhood. My father would sit on this same bench and keep a watchful eye on me as I played. Those were the days. Way before he left me to join another realm, another world. The afterlife.

I was left on my own at the raw age of 10. My father had died from asthma. Often, I'd see him gasping for breath, as though steel hands were gripping tightly onto his windpipe. I never knew what to do at that point of time. I'd just sit in fear as I watch the whole thing happen before my bulging eyes. Worst of all, it happened routinely every single day. Until one day, the steel hands decided to do something else instead. It decided to steal my father's life. Sometimes, I just feel my life was meant to be wretched. I've never seen my mother for she died while giving birth to me. As for relatives, I have none that I know of.

After my father's death, I wandered the streets and alleys. I met this beggar who said he came all the way from Afghan. Though I thought it was strange that he had enough money to come here, I never brought it up to him. He would tell me many stories about his life and when he heard mine, he shook his head and commented how hard my life must be. He would tell me that Afghans would always say, Zendagi Migzara. Life goes on.

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around. A lady, who seems to be in her 40s, with long tresses of hair and wearing a black dress stood before me. Her eyes were swollen and red as though she have been crying. Must have probably been mourning. "Are you...Jack?" she asked, breaking the silence that lingered between us.

"Yes I am. Who are you? And how do you know my name? How may I be of any help?" the questions just poured out of my mouth. There was a long pause from her, probably trying to think of the answer. "I'm sorry for the plethora of questions that I asked. But I was just curious."

"No. It's ok. But before I answer them, can you roll up your sleeve? I would like to see if there is a birth mark there for confirmation."

My eyes bulged. How could this woman possibly know that there is a mark there? I did as I was told and exposed my oval shape birth mark.

"So my guess is correct then. Jack, I'm your mother."

"How could that be possible? Didn't...didn't dad said...."

"Said that I died giving birth to you? All that was a lie, Jack. The truth was that I left your dad after I gave birth to you."

After hearing that, my anger started to elevate. "BUT WHY? WHY DID BOTH OF YOU HAVE TO LIE TO ME? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE DAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME ALONE?" by now, people were looking at the both of us.

"I thought that I'll never succeed if I was to stay with your dad, so I migrated to America to start a new life. I came back because I heard the news and I also found out that you were living in the streets" she said in a hushed tone.

"But why do you want to approach me only now?"

"Because you are my son, Jack, I still love you. I want to give you a new life. It is painful for me to hear that you are living in the streets. I can imagine how hard it must be on you. That is why I decided to take you into my home. I feel lonely myself. Money can bring you wealth but family can make you rich. Rich with happiness. So would you come with me?"

Upon hearing those words, I teared. For the 22 years that I lived, I never shed a tear. Even when my father died, I could not bring myself to cry. All I felt was a numb feeling. So it is true that the gentle words of a mother can bring her child to tears. I do not know if living with her would end my melancholy. I lifted my gaze to look into her eyes.

I nodded.

A new chapter in life.

2008-03-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

Hello fellow bloggers and readers. I've decided to start a new chapter and revive this old blog of mine. I hope you enjoy my posts. I decided to change the style of posts. Now, I shall post some of my very own essays for all of you to read.

That's all for now. Ciao.